Kebelakangan ini.

aku sangat la busy...*balik2 post ckp busy kn? :P*

serius,nda tipu. aku busy dgn asainments, presentations, projects..bla bla bla.. standard la jadi student..it wasn't that hard to study tpi keja mengunung okeyy..x sempat pun mau study..tpi sem ni mimg target dekan ah..setakat ni test quiz okey..insyaAllah,dekan dlm tgn.. :)) 

kelmarin,ada Seminar on Genetic and Genetic Resources.

which i didn't prepare at all,buat slide pun hari tu jg wujud. huh! aku busy bha,aku ada bgtau kn? sedih jg la sbb lecturer semangat gila utk seminar ni, siap buat banner n buku lagi..huhuhu

terharu gila! TQ Sir!! mana ko mau cari lecturer dedicated gitu? siap ada breakfast, lunch and minum ptg lgi..dinner ja la xda sbb it was unexpected that the seminar ended at 8pm..yes! around 8pm la..

the book that Sir edited for us, siap ada nota genetics lagi di belakang..huh! sir terbaik!

the black book on amphibia? aku dapat hadiah presenter terbaik. :') terharu~ even keja last minit, even article lambat hantar, buat cincai2..tetap jg dapat one of the best presenter..sir ckp presentation aku nmpak flow dia..kawan2 lain ckp i was captivating..i didn't realise that..thnx guys! never been this touched before. :')

sesi bergambar dgn sir. :D

siap minta dia sign lgi tu buku, tanda terima kasih x terhingga. mimg best seminar ever, and this was my 1st article that was published, in a book. hope there will be more seminars like this in the future.. ^____^

but then realisation hits me. you were no longer mine. :'(

i am lost.

dear readers~ i hope this post finds you in the pink of health! :D lama gil x post pasal diri lagi kn.as if ada org baca la blog ni. :P i'm busy. standard la tu.life's good so far, nothing to be worried about my studies. in fact, my studies is so good until i got good grades even though i haven't studied anything for that test or quiz. i just reviewed some random notes a few minutes before it then that same question pops out. wow,aku sgt2 bersyukur. betul la, lebih di sini, kurang di sana. my studies are excellent enough, not my heart. :') so now, no more ex, crushes, or even potential bf. i wont even think about them, i had enough. from now on, i want it to be me, me and only me. i wanted to be healthy, get good grades, set up a business, do good for everyone. sounds dreamy right? i'll make it happen, watch me. tiba2 emo di pagi hari. nowadays kan, aku sgt malas buat keja but then siap jg before anta. rasa la stay up malam2. this i had never told my parents, sbb nnt kena marah. x jaga kesihatan n malas buat awal2. my parents didn't have the privilege to study like we do. that's why my father berusaha dgn bersungguh2 supaya kami suma masuk universiti. x kisah la diploma or ijazah or anything higher, as long as we have been educated. i love u dad for being you! i would do anything for them, anything. now, i'm thinking of setting up a business online. but that has to wait until i finished this semester at least. then my sis told me to be penggubah hantaran utk wedding org. yala, haritu its her wedding, so if anything goes wrong, i wont get blamed on. i am nervous  if it was somebody else. i dont know yet, tgk la mcmana nnt. tdi ada baca blog Hilmi, that kind of determination sedikit sebanyak motivated me as well. hey, don't give up. not on yourself, but on her too. with some people, i see the distances between us. i'm fixing it right now, i'm so sorry if i'm lacking in any part as a friend. being this busy and committed to so many things, i admit that i had forgotten about you guys. i'm so so so sorry. promise i wont neglect you guys again. but then i cant be with everyone at the same time. :P argh, next time i'll talk about that more. i'm busy, cant you see that? till next time, stay healthy guys!

sincerely, me.

Lagud Seberang.

Reds And Whites in Lagud Seberang! Slideshow: Alynahraigorilla’s trip from Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia to Tenom (near Kota Klias) was created by TripAdvisor. See another Kota Klias slideshow. Take your travel photos and make a slideshow for free.

was shocked

and thankful and relieved. he's awake. :')
syukur alhamdulillah, thnx Allah swt!
imysm abah! ^^

idk

if I should be happy or sad. happy because I got my watch back, the lab assistant found it. *Alhamdulillah~*sad because abah's life depends on machines right now. the doctor advices his family to let him go. instead, his family wanna wait for friends to visit,during this midsem break. T.T argh,this is so hard for me to accept. he's the same person who sang to us a few weeks back, and now he's voice cannot be heard any more. if only you know how much i miss u, how bad i want to visit you there abah. please stay strong. keep fighting because there's still hope. yeap, lone ranger is right. there's still hope.

hectic.

once again my life is hectic. couldn't stop thinking about him though. and him. okay,so i'm thinking a lot about guys right? :D anyway, my dearest watch was missing yesterday after lab session. its been 4 years since my dad gave it to me. argh, this stressed me out. T.T i miss my watch badly, my right hand has been so light today. so next week will be hectic. :) got three tests, which will keep me awake in late mornings. MKT on mournday, then genetics at night on the following day. after that, I'll be having microbe on friday. ^___^ it does stressed me out thingking about it but no worries. Rai got it all covered. I've got plans and i hope those plans will work this time. i don't want to blindly go for test this time.i'll make sure i'll prevail and study as much as possible. go rai go!

what frightens me the most.

that would be a call or a text saying bad news about you. just now mr bb called and said u're critical and nearly escaped death. he said Allah swt still prolong ur life and ask us to pray for you. with every word that comes out from his mouth, my heart beats faster. as if it wanted to plunged out of my chest. it does give me a fright. then i cried after i told efa about it. you wanna know why? because i'm afraid of losing you. :'( i seriously can't imagine the thought of living without you. i'm not prepared for it yet. not now. you promised to give me back the book i gave you. you said you had written something in it. you said you wanted to make a video of you singing to us. you told me that u're coming back after mid sem break. and we'll be karaoke-ing at karam. having fun and making memories. :'( i'm torn between not letting you go before our last meeting and just let you go without you having to suffer anymore. i miss u soooooooo much that it hurts inside. selamatkan lah dia ya Allah swt, kurangkanlah kesakitan yg dia alami dan ampunilah dosa2nya, sama ada yg jelas mahupun yg tersembunyi. i'll always pray for you abah, no matter what. :'(      

heartache.

hey abah..i miss u so so soooo much. really really. i miss your voice, your songs. :'( even the smallest things can trigger my tears nowadays. i fell empty inside. yea,i have my family and friends but they're not you abah. they don't sound like you, they don't sing like you do. all i ever wanted was for you to be here. but only if you had ur treatments. i know, we miss u too. gila ka x rindu. but it can't be helped. i would prefer to  be separated miles away from you knowing that u're in good hands rather than being here and u're suffering. u once said "biar suffer tpi hepi" hey,u'd think we would let u suffer huh? aku xkn tergamak biar ko mcm tu abah. never ever. biarla ko terpaksa pigi pun, mesti ada hikmah. Allah swt xkan biar hambanya tanggung lebih dri yg hambanya mampu,ingat tu. i know you can do this. ya,kehilangan ko mimg amat terasa di hati. sayu hati time hantar ko d airport haritu.  i still cant believe u're gone. smpai aku cari2 bha ko time d klas hari isnin lepas hantar ko. i know u wanted to go back badly. i know u miss sabah soooo much. xlama jg kan..beberapa bulan ja..dun wury k. :') we'll wait for u here. take care always, we love u so much hilmi. no words can describe how i miss you right now. sepi, i don't know how to enjoy life anymore. even though effa bawa jalan, i felt lifeless. yeah,aku takut jg family nmpak if jalan but that's not the main reason bha. i don't feel like going out today. since he's gone, there would be times when i'm down. i felt so sad until i couldn't stop crying. haih.. Allah swt ja yg tau apa aku tanggung skarang ni. why? i know i shouldn't ask that question but why? i already know the answer but still i wanted to ask why would you take him away from us? all he ever did was make people happy. even though he's hurting, he would still make effort to make us happy, to bring back smile on our faces. that day was the happiest moment i had with him. we didn't talk much face to face but i know how he felt. i know he's sad to leave everybody behind. aku tau dia sayang muiz sgt3. aku tau dia berat hati mau pigi. sama mcm semua org juga. I thought that from this heartache I could escape but I fronted long enough to know there ain’t no way and today, I’m officially missing you. Well I wish that you would call me right now, so that I could get through to you somehow because can’t nobody do it like you, said every little thing you do. :'(

Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope. 

i hope you do see an endless hope. although some might say its a hopeless end. have faith, please. you can do this hilmi. i want to see that book..what did u write in it. u must come back. we'll wait for u here. oh,pagi tdi aku emo,post ni d fb.

yeah, see u three weeks. just as u promised me. keep that promise okay abah. i miss you so so much. when i go thru our chat in fb, i found this. :')

<3

stay strong.

hasil satu semester.

teda c,paling syukur alhamdulillah. :D this is wayyy much better than my expectation after the finals. sayangnya,csc,ecology and bel patut A+..syukurnya,bio411,economics n phy atas C+ (yg aku target dpt lepas final ritu). ctu?no komen broo..alhamdulillah,xda lgi yg repeat2..stakat ni suma lulus..congrats semua BScians! yg dekan tu,teruskn smpai anc..aku tepuk kuat2 if kmu naik pntas karang.. :)) the others,everything happens for a reason.hey,at least we've tried,next sem kasi lagi baik. :) bye2 anc,wuwuwuwu..maafkan daku kerana curang dgn enjoy n malas. anyway,nnt kita jumpa trus kuar pgi 1B enjoyy okeh! *masih x insaf2..wahahhahah~* ok sebenarnya aku kecewa sbb aku tau boleh buat lgi baik dari ini. tipula teda rasa regret,semua mesti ada. lain la if 4flat,kali regret pasal x enjoy ja before.weheeehee.. worse,my sis dekan,she got 3.6 na,tunggu la perbandingan karang. apa ko rasa rai,oren?aku rasa sunkist,ada la twister urin skit2..tpi serius la,patut syukur bnyak2.. at least sejarah lama x berulang,paitung class sgt tidak best okeh. xpa,sem satu baru.rilekss..ko tunggu sem depan,come what may. hmph! (oo)

btw,tdi tgk leap year and i found this very sweet. :))

May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you.

this following part crack me up.hahahha!

Declan: [slams Anna's suitcase on the ground] How does that work?
Anna: Can you be careful with that, it was a gift from my boyfriend!
Declan: He bought you a suitcase?
Anna: It's a Vuitton.
Declan: What?
Anna: A Louis Vuitton?
Declan: Come on. Ah, is it yourself Louis? Can I give you a hand getting into the car Louis? She named her suitcase, she's a crackpot. 

tdi twitter jammed kejap sbb tlampau eksaited dgn result. :D slalunya portal yg hang,ni kali la. oh,mau ckp ni sbnarnya. this is not the end of me. its just a beginning. you're gonna rue the day you've known my name. *okeh,melalut lalut suda sbb mamai x terkawal.* nite2 peeps, i hope chelsea will win *tiba2* and tomorrow will be better than today. and i also hope that breadie will met running man casts in Korea,at least kyuhyun or suju or any hot singers there. aaaand i hope she brought me one namja. hahahha,bengong. well,sygnya i can't go.if not,skrg suda bersuka ria d Korea and lupakan result. hey rai,*pats own shoulder* do better next time. well done,u deserve it. give out more,expect less. belum ada rezeki,jgn cepat mengalah. same goes to you. 

Next sem target Dekan pula (lone ranger,2012)

Gagal arini tak semestinya gagal selamanya (zul,2012)

selamat mimpi indah dunia!

ps: mama ckp ok suda result aku..kasi maintain ja..xpayah dikejar dekan,yg penting xda repeat. T.T mama ilebiu!